I read a massive rant by Nick Perrin as regards to the sad truth about being a composer. I have to say that it is a legitimate and realistic rant crammed into two words: "We suck."

I replied with a long essay as well, throwing a different light on most of his rants.

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I like your essay. Yes, we all suck, true.

That's why we keep on trying. We keep on striving to improve ourselves. Music is an art and science, both of which require talent and skill.

As far as talent goes, well, there are really the incredibly talented people. Geniuses, in simple terms. They just learn faster, write faster, and evolve faster than the rest of us.

The question "is this meant for me?" is a killer question. In fact, that question made me stop writing songs for 4 years. It just occurred to me a year ago that the naturally talented bunch just keeps on writing. The difference is that we fuck up more than they do.

I've written more than a hundred songs, of which 70% go to the trash bin anyway, or the recycling bin. I keep on trying, though. I'm still writing. I still desire to make it to mainstream radio. I keep on going EVEN IF SOME PEOPLE TELL ME THAT I SUCK ANYWAY.

As in anything, praise and condemnation is subjective. In both ways, these keep me going. Praise gives me a moral boost, and every "you suck" comment (which hopefully have comments as what to improve) is a challenge to make myself better.

A composition is a composition as a painting is a painting. I find Picasso weird, and I think the Beatles and Led Zeppelin are still cool. Sometimes, I wrote stuff that I think sucked, but people found them to be great.

Good is subjective, and is quantified by the effect it has on another person. I personally find Kanye West good. Some think he shouldn't be writing music at all. I have condemned so many songs on the radio, but some people actually find it cool. It's called target audience.

It's funny seeing people praise themselves despite the fact that we think they suck. It's equally funny having other people think we suck, too. Ego actually counts... it's what keeps us going. Everytime we write something new, it gives a feeling of "eureka" or "cool!", and it's fuel to a fire. We become proud.

Here's where humility kicks in. A day after, we should think that what we did the day before sucked. From here, we analyze: what would make it better? It should never end in one, two, a hundred takes. We just need to get getting better and better. Hear every praise and rant; they all count.

I wouldn't do that to my girl. She rarely praises me, by the way. When she does, I'd say "thank you" and be happy that she appreciated what I did. I have at least one fan in the world. Don't throw her away; she just wants you to know that she's behind you. She may be ignorant to the things (or songs) that you deem greater, but if you look closer into it, she just doesn't want you to give up.

To the proud and egotistic, let them be. They will learn the hard way if they close their minds into being their own personal genius.

As to you, my good sir, I think you still have a long way to go. Same road as where I am.

Thank you for your rant, by the way. And yeah, I know I suck. I'm just stubborn enough to keep on going.

I've had praises from local songwriting legends (they spent time without my consent in improving the mixing of my songs a few years back), and had discounts from studios because I was on a budget. These felt great -- they told me indirectly to keep on going. It would kill my growth, though, if I just hung that in my head as my pinnacle.

Here's an ending thought: the talented have it easy. It's just like a history quiz (I suck at memorizing, but I'm good at math, hehe), we just have to work harder to get a better score.

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I hope that you would find this to be a good read (or an editable text for English homeworks). ^_^